Nathan, Nathan, NATHAN!!!

Nathan learned to do two terrifying things this week. Each is terrifying on its own, but together they just might be the end of the world.

He learned
1. To get out of his crib by himself
and
2. To open closed doors.

Yesterday morning, I awakened to the sweet sounds of little Nathan POUNDING on my Mother-in-law's piano upstairs. Yikes....

Then, when I put Nathan down for a nap, I put Blake in the bath tub and went to go get some stuff out of the kitchen. Upon my return, this is what I found:

(Yes, that is Nathan fully dressed, having jumped in to join his brother.)

And then this morning topped it all off. I was awakened by Isaac crying this morning, so I went into his and Nathan's room to check on him and discovered that Nathan wasn't there. I started looking around for him all over the basement. Couldn't find him. Went upstairs. Couldn't find him. Starting to panic now, realizing that there are so many things he could have hurt or could have been hurt by, I started yelling his name.

I finally found him asleep on the doormat by the door that leads to the garage.

He was completely naked, except for a diaper, and trembling from the cold.

He had obviously been thirsty, because he had gathered every bottle of everything, from soda to household cleaners, and the one bottle he had managed to open (which was, luckily [considering the options] Cherry 7-up) had been spilled all over him and the floor. As I approached him, he awoke with a start and began screaming and screaming. I knew that my mother-and father-in-law were still sleeping, so I tried to keep him as quiet as I could while I cleaned and comforted him. Poor baby. He was really startled and had obviously been through a great ordeal.

So, my father-in-law put a lock on Nathan's door, so I can lock him in his bedroom. It seems cruel. At the same time, though, it's for his own safety. Poor little dude. This is a very hard age!

Y, you've got to be kidding me!!!



I know that just about everyone I know and love (besides my dear husband) received some degree or another from the illustrious Brigham Young University (including both of my dear parents, who were professors there and retired from there). This is not meant to be an offense to you... I'm just becoming less and less interested in your University.... which is difficult... since they've been on my very-dark-if-not-completely-black list for some time now...

I just heard the SUPER DUPER news today--Dick Cheney himself is going to be speaking at BYU's commencement this year.

Our dear Vice President was available, of course, because NO ONE ELSE ON THE PLANET WAS INTERESTED IN BOOKING HIM!!! Seriously, people! Dick Cheney? The guy who tried to convince the American public that TORTURE was okay? The guy who stands beside our dopey president as he breaks one federal or international law after another?? The guy who leaked info about a CIA agent?? And does ANYONE besides me remember Haliburton???

Oh, but wait. He's a Republican. And this is, after all, the land of the Blind Republican Sheep. He could eat your children in front of you, but he's a Republican. Therefore, we must admire him and shout his praises. And maybe even teach a few Sunday School lessons about his endless virtues...

I Have Done the Deed. Didst thou hear a noise?

(That's what MacBeth tells Lady MacBeth after he commits his first murder. I, however, did not murder anyone. Unless dust mites count. In which case, I murdered a lot...)

We did it. We "finished" the house. We were there until 2:00 a.m. this morning working on it. It's really lovely, in that "this house no longer has any personality and everything is beige" kind of way. Of course, when I say we "finished" it, I don't mean the basement. Though I spent at least SIX hours working on the basement yesterday. This time around I'm trying to do things right--which means that I'm going through absolutely everything in old boxes to see what can be thrown away--which is a lot. I probably dumped a thousand cassette tapes yesterday. And this is just the beginning.

(Brian asked me why I was keeping all the vinyl records. HELLO!!! DOES HE NOT KNOW ME AT ALL???)

So it's done. Today the ol' house will go on the market, if everything on that end goes smoothly. Fortunately, that part isn't my problem. It's my realtor's problem. My 15-year-old-looking realtor who has probably never even SEEN a cassette tape and yet he gets to order me around condescendingly. Oh well. He's just trying to do his job...and make a fortune off of us...

Diet Another Day

Beware the Ides of March, my friends. Beware.

On March 15, I officially kicked off my "I'm done popping out children and I'm sick of being fat" diet. It's the Eat to Live diet that many in my family have thrived on (including myself before I had to quit when I found out I was pregnant with Nathan several years back). It's a difficult diet to stick to, but I'm very motivated.

My official goal this year was to lose 20 lbs before we moved into our Springville house. Very attainable. Or so I thought. I was doing SO well, exercising every single day, waking up super early before the kids got up. But then I got sick, so I took a few days off. And then Isaac got sick, which meant I was up all night and couldn't get up early, and then Nathan got sick, and then Isaac got sicker, and then I was "sleeping" in the hospital, and then it was time to move. And I hadn't even caught my breath for long enough to LOOK at my treadmill, let alone push any of its fancy buttons.

And now, my treadmill is far, far away. So, obviously, I won't be losing my 20 lbs by running right now. Hence the diet. It's a very extreme measure for someone like me--you know, gluttonous and lazy--but it simply has to be done. So, beware the Ides of March indeed. They will make me BRUTALLY HOT. Right? Or at least not quite so fat...

March Moving Madness

Hello? Is there anyone out there? Have I been greatly missed?

Oh, it has been SO crazy. I don't even know where to begin. I will spare you many of the details, but here's a basic run-down of my last few days:

Every day begins with pawning the kids off on whoever is willing to take them. And then I go to the Saratoga house and clean. And scrub. And pack. And organize. And scrub. And clean. And make ten million trips a day to Alpine, Saratoga, and Provo, all of which are a half hour away from each other. A lovely triangle. Much like the Bermuda Triangle, in that I lose something--sanity--almost every time I drive it.

We were supposed to put our house on the market last Thursday, but it didn't happen. We just didn't get enough done in time. I can't believe how much more work this has turned out to be than I originally thought (and believeme, I originally thought it would be TONS of work).

In the last week, we've painted walls, had drywall repaired, had carpet installed and other carpet replaced, had all the floors professionally cleaned, and the yard has been uber-tidied. Today I spent almost the ENTIRE DAY cleaning the master bathroom. Yup. One whole day. One tiny bathroom. One bathroom down, two bathrooms to go.

Shoot me now.

The kids are taking it all in stride. They've been wonderful. Mind you, it hasn't been easy for them. They are confused and concerned and bewildered by the whirlwind of it all. Nathan has had the hardest time. He misses me a lot. Every day when I come to get him from whoever has been babysitting he comes running to me with so much joy and screaming, "MAMA!!!" He leaps into my arms and doesn't let me put him down. No one else can touch me, no one else can touch him.

There are so many reasons to want all of this craziness to end, but the main one for me is that I miss my kids. A lot.

The house is now scheduled to be officially listed on Wednesday. We are working like crazy to meet that deadline. We don't have the option of NOT meeting that deadline at this point, since our other house will be finished in possibly as soon as 6 weeks. GACK! We gotta get our Saratoga house SOLD!!!

Come on, SURELY someone out there wants a lovely 5 bedroom, 3 full bathroom, 3200 sq ft house with new carpet and fresh paint and lake and mountain views. SURELY?? If so, it's yours. Special price if you mention this ad. *wink*wink*

Good Boy

"Mommy, I'm hungry."

"Okay, Blake. If you're a very good boy, we'll go and get pizza in a minute."

"PIZZA???!!!"

"Yup, but only if you're a very good boy!."

"Oh Mommy, I'm ALWAYS a good boy," he says while dumping popcorn all over the room I just spent forever cleaning.

The End of an Era

This is it, folks. Our last day in our first house. It's crazy to think. This is where Maddie learned to talk. It's where Blakey learned to walk! Nathan was born right here in the living room! And Isaac, of course, will have no memory of it, but we will have memories of him in it!



Yes, there have been (and ARE) things about this place that drive me absolutely nuts. The bathrooms are too small. The kitchen is too cramped. It's a big house, but a lot of the space is wasted, so it feels like a little house.

At the same time, I am so grateful for it. We were so very poor when we bought it--we could hardly believe that people in our income bracket at the time could even own a house! Most of them don't! We were very lucky.

But, we've added two more little people to our family since we bought this house. Plus, we aren't rich, but we certainly aren't so very poor anymore. And now, the house has almost DOUBLED in value from when we built it three years ago. So it's time to take our money and run!

Maddie and Blake had their last day of preschool yesterday and Maddie is done with ballet. It's sad for them. They had such good friends and were excelling socially and academically (can you excel academically in preschool? If you can, they were...) and their teachers adored them so much. I've reassured them that they will make new friends and have new teachers. But the truth is, we will be in limbo now for another couple of months before we actually move into our house and I hope they won't get too lonely or go completely stir crazy!

Anyway, it's time for me to finish packing up all our belongings. This is such a huge process and I'm only getting to the tip of the iceburg for now. Then the real hard work begins--the cleaning and painting and carpet-replacing and the junk-in-the-basement-organizing and all those dreaded projects.

It's so funny, though. I suddenly feel so torn. I've been so eager to get out of here! I can't WAIT to be free of it and get our brand new great big house. But so many of my happiest moments occurred in this house. It will always hold a special place in my heart.

Going bananas

I corrupted you all with chocolate a few weeks ago, so this is my healthy way of making it up to you.

Bananas, anyone? Here's a great SuperTarget coupon for bananas. The coupon says that you must buy at least two pounds. But bananas are only $.39/lb right now at Target, so with this coupon, each pound of bananas will cost you a whole $.14!!!

Okay, maybe I went a little crazy on the links, there. But I just didn't want you to miss it!

That Mom Thing

Tonight I will do that mom thing. You know, that thing where I talk about each one of my kids. That thing where I go on and on and on about them. Yeah. That thing. It's just that each one has been so delightful today and I just have to tell you all about it.

I'll start with the youngest. Actually, he's been the topic of so many of my posts that there really isn't much to say about him, except the results of our doctor's visit today: Both of Isaac's ears are infected. Again. This is the second time in a month that both ears have been infected. The doctor thinks that this is the root of all his current problems.

Nathan handed me the thermometer tonight and demanded, in his mostly-non-verbal way (by shoving the thermometer in his armpit and then handing it to me, and when I did nothing, he took it back and thrust it into his armpit until I finally got the hint), that I take his temperature. I obliged. He has a fever. Pretty high, too. I had no idea. Nathan is the kind of kid that can be in serious pain and never let me know it, because he's too busy being happy and silly and sneaky. However, now that I think about it, he has become oddly clingy the last few days. I think it might have been hard on him, all that time I spent away from him in the hospital with Isaac. Not sure. And now I find out that maybe he's sick? Well, whatever it is, I have to admit that I'm loving it. Nathan has always been perfectly satisfied to have nothing to do with me. I haven't minded, really, because I decided long ago not to take that kind of thing personally. And he's always been perfectly wonderful to me, just not real "lovey dovey". But lately he wants me to cuddle him and hold him and play with him. And, of course, every time I snuggle any of his siblings he throws a fit and demands my attention. It's all a little tricky with a sick baby... But, as I said, I'm loving it.

Blake. Oh, Blake. Blake always keeps me on my toes. While I was at Albertsons today, filling a prescription for Isaac, Blake jumped up on top of the shopping cart--you know, the great big car kind (at Albertsons they are particularly high). This is nothing new, by the way. You would laugh your head off at me if you saw me at the store, trying to balance four kids in one shopping cart. The kids are always climbing all over it. Anyway, Blake climbed to the top of this particularly high car shopping cart, slipped, and belly flopped right off and onto the floor. He must have knocked his nose pretty good too because there was blood EVERYWHERE. And believe me, I mean everywehre. And the screaming. Oh, the screaming. In the middle of an otherwise-quiet pharmacy. The best part was when I was examining his nose and mouth, both of which were perpetually gushing out blood, and I asked him where it hurt the most. He showed me his arm, which was not at all injured but WAS drenched in blood from his nose, and, since he could see the blood there, said that that was what hurt the most. Silly, silly boy. (Of course, if he could have seen his face, he would have seen that there was a LOT more blood there, so naturally THAT would have been the part that hurt the most.) All I can say is, Thank goodness for baby wipes. (I have baby wipes with me at any given moment.) And, you'll be happy to know, once the blood was cleaned up and the tears were gone, he was back to climbing all over the shopping cart, amidst MUCH scolding from his loving mother... "Don't you remember what happened LAST time you climbed up there??!!" Silly Mom.

And then there's Madeleine. Hahaha. My darling little Madeleine. She is quite anxious about our move to "Gramma Tana's" house. She's aware that I'm trying to pack for that, and tonight she decided to help me. So she cleaned out her dresser and folded everything into her blanket. Then she came in to inform me that she would need some of her toys because, "mommy, I don't think you realize that two months is a REALLY long time." I nodded in agreement. Two months IS a really long time and she should definitely think about what toys she wanted. So she very carefully went through her toys and selected a few to stuff into her blanket with her clothes. Then tonight, after she went to bed, I went through her blanket to do the REAL packing and I got such a kick out of her little treasures that meant so much to her. There were the usual dolls--Herbert in particular (a funny looking bear that my Grandma Nelda bought for her several years ago and who, for some reason, is Madeleine very bestest friend) and Genevieve of 12 Dancing Princesses fame, of course. But then there were little scraps of ribbon, a screw, an old bent valentine from her preschool teacher, an old straw from a capri sun drink, and some coupons that she'd gotten at the store. These were her TREASURES--the things that she simply can't live without while we're at Gramma Tana's. I feel like I caught a glimpse of her tiny little heart, and it is the darlingest thing in the whole world.

And now, everyone is sleeping. Sort of. It's 1:30 a.m. and I have already been summoned by Nathan twice and Isaac three times. Fortunately, I wasn't sleeping anyway. Too much to do. Not that I'm DOING any of it--I'm just unable to sleep because I'm THINKING about doing it.

And now, hopefully, I will go back to my usual state of thoughtlessness and get some sleep!

Posting, posting

Okay, I think I'm only posting right now because it's about that time again. But I have nothing to say.

We had yet another realtor come by on Saturday. Of the four we've dealt with, I like him best, by far. And not just because he thinks I can get what I want out of my house! (Everyone else was telling us way less than we were hoping for...) We'll make a final decision by tomorrow. The decision may seem obvious to you, but one of the other realtors is my brother-in-law, and we don't want to step on family's toes, doncha know...

And, you may not think that this is news, but Isaac is sick. Apparently, Isaac is always sick. But this is a new kind of sick. He has a nasty fever, terrible "digestive" problems, shall we say (I'm trying not to gross anyone out here...), he's not interested in eating, and he's become very lethargic--like a blob, not a person. He has such a vibrant and joyful personality normally. It makes me very sad.

So back to the doctor we go.

Meanwhile, I have to move out of this place! We're moving into my in-laws on Wednesday. That's day after tomorrow. And it's hard to get much done when I spend my life in doctor's offices, pharmacies, and hospitals!!! Surely, winter will end soon and everyone will be well. RIGTHT??!!!

Home!!!

The first thing I need to say about "home" is that Isaac is home now! Yeay!!!! We're so glad he's better. His siblings were dying of Isaac-depravation (they weren't allowed to visit him in the hospital) and everyone is happy and all is right with the world.

The second thing to say under "home" is that I drove past our new house yesterday. I suspected that there would be a hole in the ground by now, but I was thrilled to see a whole foundation! Woohoo!

The third thing under "home" is that we are about to leave this house and move in with my in-laws. It is just simply too difficult to get everything done that needs to be done in order to sell this house while the six of us are living in it. So my in-laws have very generously offered their basement to us. And while the arrangement may not be easy on them or us, it will be a thousand times better than what we've been trying to do and we are extremely grateful to them!

Hospital, Day Five

Last Friday, when all of this began, I asked the doctor how long Isaac would likely have to stay in the hospital. He replied that it would be at least 24 hours, and often babies stay for three days.

Welcome to Day Five.

It's not really that Isaac is all that sick, anymore. He looks so much better and he's acting like his old self. He's so sweet and smiley and SUCH a flirt with the nurses, who are all in love with him.

The lingering problem is that he still can't eat without the hospital's help and, of course, they won't release him until he can.

Brian stayed the night with him on Sunday and when I got there on Monday morning I found that Isaac had made a big ol' mess of his clothes and they'd had to put something clean on him. HOW STINKING CUTE IS THIS???? Who knew that they made hospital gowns in, shall we say, petite sizes?

Well, as cute as it is, I'll be happy if I never have to see him in a hospital gown again!

Anyway, I spent the night with Isaac last night and, as I said, he was still struggling to eat without their help. Brian and I switched places this morning, and I guess the doctor came in and told Brian that there's a very good possibility that Isaac will be released from the hospital this afternoon. Don't get me wrong--that is excellent news! But since he seems to struggle the most at night, it concerns me slightly that they would release him during the afternoon when he's at his best... I would just hate it if he came home and then tonight he tried to eat and couldn't. I wouldn't be able to help him without their nifty (evil-wicked-wicked, as Jeff would say) machine. So then what? Back to the hospital?

Well, I'm fretting over nothing. My only choice in this matter is to trust the doctor--who has been VERY worthy of our trust so far. And believe me, when Isaac is finally released, there will be MUCH rejoicing!

X-rays, and IV's, and Suction, Oh My!

As alluded to in a previous post, I took Nathan to the Instacare this week (Tuesday) for his nasty cold, cough, and wheezing that wasn't getting better. As the doctor listened to his lungs, he decided that it was very possible that Nathan had pneumonia, so he sent me (and all four of my kids!) to the American Fork Hospital to get Nathan's chest X-rayed. Crazy. Nathan was a trooper, even with all the big, bad machinery. Fortunately, the x-rays did not show pneumonia and it was eventually decided that Nathan's problem is some sort of asthmatic reaction--which may come back to haunt us at some point, but in the moment that news was a relief. He's now on a nebulizer and seems to be getting better quickly.

However, Isaac's RSV wasn't getting better. In fact, he was getting worse. When I realized that he's been sick for almost an entire month, I called the nurse and told her our situation and his symptoms--one of which was that he was no longer able to eat.

As the nurse heard what was going on with little tiny Isaac, she was very concerned and pulled some strings to make sure he saw a doctor immediately (both pediatric clinics were booked solid, and I wasn't sure if the emergency room was the right choice...)

So, once again, I toted all four kids to the doctor's office. This time there was no car-dropping nor lip-in-door slamming, thank goodness. But as the doctor looked over my little guy, he realized that we had gotten into somewhat scary territory and it was time to admit him to the hospital.

Fortunately, Brian was able to leave work early and come home and take care of the other three kids.

So, once checked in at the hospital, what do you suppose was our first stop? Chest x-rays, of course. I was wondering how on earth they would manage it. When we'd done Nathan's, he had been able to sit on a special cushion on the x-ray table. But Isaac is so tiny and, of course, can't sit on his own just yet. So this is how they do it:



Basically they stuff him into a tube and strap his arms straight up. Oh, how he screamed! I just had to take a picture of it. I think the technologist thought I was nuts, but I couldn't let something so bizarre go unphotographed!

I stayed the night with Isaac at the hospital. It was so crazy. The poor baby couldn't settle down. New bed, new place, and, of course, tubes and IV's and monitors attached to his little body made it impossible to get comfortable. Plus, the nurses were coming in every two hours at least to check his vitals and so on.


Finally, at about 4:45 this morning, Isaac settled down and fell asleep, and so I went to sleep too. So wouldn't you just know it that at 5:30, the nurses come marching in with tubes and needles to draw blood! SERIOUSLY??? At FIVE-FREAKING-THIRTY IN THE MORNING??? It couldn't have waited until, say, 7:30?

Anyway, Brian is in the hospital with him now and I'm at home with the other three little monkeys. We'll just keep switching back and forth until Isaac can come home--and no, we have no word yet on when that will be, but when the doctor looked at him last night he said that he thought it would likely be a couple more days.

(Remember that part about Isaac's life not always being easy?)

Thanks for all the love, prayers, and kind notes on our behalf! We'll keep you all posted.

One Word Answers

Once again, Kate has us all doing crazy things. Here's her latest project for us.

One Word Answers

Feeling: exhausted
Thinking About: Isaac
Your Family History: fun
The Last Person You Had "Words" With: Nathan
Want To Fly Away To: sunshine
Hate the Sight Of: snot
Favorite Color Ink: black?
American Idol Judge Who Irritates You Most: Randy-dawg
Place You Thought Monsters Hid When You Were Little: Shadows
Favorite Spice or Herb: SALT!!!
What You Like for Breakfast: cereal
Your Living Room Couch: hideous
Most Recent Purchase: Wendys
Hours You Typically Sleep On Weeknights: five
Something You Dislike: snow
A Favorite Color: Green
Your Snack When Willpower Is Nonexistent: Caramello
Your Bedsheets: superdeedupersofty
The Part of Your Face You Scrunch Most Often: brow
The Last Thing You Thought Was Funny: Nathan
What You're Going To Do Now: collapse

Now you copy and paste this and either post it on your blog or in the comments!

And, Finally, Number Five

Shoot. I had really planned to make these entertaining, but it just ain't happening. But here's one more thing about me. I'm obsessed with endings. I can't start a TV show and not watch it to the end. Same with movies and books. EVEN IF I'M NOT ENJOYING THE STORY! I just can't let go and not know how it turns out. So now I have learned that I have to be careful of what I START watching or reading, knowing that I have wasted so much of my life on shows or books that were of no value whatsoever, simply because I HAVE to know how it ends.

I get this from my Dad, I think. He's just like me on this. My Mom can start something and walk away from it with no problem. Brian is just like my Mom in that way. People who don't have this obsessive need to see how something ends don't understand those of us who do--they just see us wasting a lot of time.

However, in my case, this does not translate over to projects. I have billions of unfinished projects strewn all over my house. No, for me, it is simply storylines that get me all crazy and obsessed.

Number Four

I'm pretty sure you don't know this...

I proof-read documents and make fancy shmancy newsletters for my kids' preschool in exchange for free tuition. This is an excellent and EXPENSIVE preschool and I feel really blessed that the owner took me up on my offer. And believe me, she NEEDED a proof-reader!

I was SUPPOSED to teach a Spanish class there, instead of being the newsletter girl, but there was no interest--we couldn't get enough people to sign up. At first I was flabbergasted that people weren't interested in having their children learn Spanish. Now I understand it a little bit. See, the Blind Republican Sheep of Utah don't like Mexicans--especially the impoverished or illegal ones, and learning Spanish would be a way of embracing something their political party teaches them to be hostile towards. And in Utah, most people's religion teaches them to LOVE, FORGIVE, BE MERCIFUL, IMPART OF OUR SUBSTANCE, CLOTHE THE NAKED, FEED THE HUNGRY. But those lessons are only for Sunday School. In the real world, we're allowed to be disdainful, prideful, snooty, and disgusted. Politics almost ALWAYS trumps religion, even in a place where people talk like their religion is their whole life.

And once again, I digress into politics and generalizations... And, alas, Kate knows that I'm prone to that, so it can't count as Number Five.

Number Three

I wash my face with cold water and I brush my teeth with warm water. (And when Brian and I are brushing our teeth at the same time, we're always fighting over the water temperature--he's making it colder, I'm making it warmer.) I can't brush my teeth with cold water--the cold is too shocking for my sensitive little (big, fat) mouth. And I find that washing my face with cold water is very refreshing.

Number Two

As I was explaining my plight to Brian, telling him that I had to come up with five things that Kate doesn't know about me, he slid his arms around me, began kissing my neck, and whispered, "I bet I know five things about you that Kate doesn't know."

AHEM. THOSE THINGS WILL NOT BE POSTED HERE!!!

I'm blushing.

BUT! It did make me realize that there are some less, well, PRIVATE things that Brian knows about me that probably no ones else does. In particular, I refer to sleeping habits.

I go to bed fully dressed. I mean shirt, long pants, socks. If any one of those things is missing, I can't sleep. This dates back to my "war days" (haha, that sounds so dramatic) when living in Israel during the Gulf War when I was 12. We would so often have air raid sirens during the night that would send us racing to the bomb shelter--where we would meet 30 or so other people. There was no time to worry about what you were (or weren't!) wearing, and after having one or two awkward moments, we just got into the habit of going to bed fully dressed and ready to meet the world at a moment's notice.

Just by way of clarification, though, nowadays I don't sleep fully dressed because I'm worried that I might have to run to a bomb shelter in the middle of the night anymore. I just learned during those nights when I HAD to be fully clothed that I am more comfortable that way.

But should bombs fall on Saratoga Springs, I'll be ready. Well, I'll be dressed, anyway.

Number One

All right, all right. I accept the challenge, dear Kate. The challenge was to come up with five things about myself that Kate doesn't know. The problem is that Kate and I have been friends for approximately one billion years--and not just passing "friends," but the kind of friends who tell each other absolutely everything. The dumb, the interesting, the boring, the ridiculous. I TELL HER EVERYTHING. (Gosh. Poor girl.) So this is a huge challenge. I'm going to mix it up a bit and make each of the five things a different post. This is mostly because I don't think I can come up with five all at once!!!

So here's number one.

I will start with this, only because you mentioned to me the other day that you didn't know it about me. I had pneumonia as a toddler. Now, that may not be all that interesting in and of itself, but there IS a story behind it.

Growing up, we had a swimming pool in our backyard. My parents were very responsible people who understood that swimming pools and toddlers don't always mix well, so they installed gates and locks, etc, to keep me safe. But I have older siblings and cousins and they had friends, etc. Someone along the way decided that the gates and locks were too cumbersome, so they rigged it so that the gate wouldn't lock.

And along comes toddler Anne.

I was carrying a kitchen timer which apparently I dropped into the pool and, being a responsible girl who didn't want to get in trouble for losing the timer, I jumped in after it.

My mother happened to look out a window and noticed me--floating face down in the water. She dove into the water to pull me out and found that I was unconscious and blue. Somewhere in there 911 was called and Sister Harrison, a neighbor, had come over. And, obviously, they saved my life. It was determined that I had been without oxygen for four minutes, which is long enough to begin to cause brain damage. My older siblings like to bring that up...

And, of course, all the water in my lungs gave me pneumonia. My mom had been warned that it would happen, but even so, when the pneumonia hit, it was pretty scary.

Anyway, the result is that having had pneumonia at such a young age weakened my respiratory system to the point where if anyone within a ten mile radius of me has a cold, I get it too. Bronchitis? ALL THE TIME. Sinus infection? yep. Even walking pneumonia once or twice.

That's why yesterday, when Nathan's doctor sent us to the hospital to get chest x-rays, I was hoping and praying that my little tiny Nathan would not turn out to have pneumonia, because I know that when you get it this young, it can effect you for the rest of your life.

Hot dog, leap frog, and holy cow that was a long post. I tend to have a problem with getting a bit wordy. But Kate, of all people, KNOWS that about me, so I can't make it one of the five. hahaha.

The Broke Breaking Broker Breaker

Here is my fun list of things that I broke this week.

1. The first thing I broke this week was my microwave. No, I have no idea what happened. All I know is that one day I tried to heat up soup. I set the time for 2 minutes and hit start. The whirly sound came on, the light came on, the turn-table turned. But the soup was cold as ice at the end of the two minutes. So I tried again. I'm not all that bright, you see, and I figured that maybe two minutes hadn't been quite enough to bring my soup out of its frigid state. After, oh, probably four attempts, I finally came to the conclusion that the microwave didn't work. (Then I forgot to tell Brian that I'd broken the microwave--it only took him one try to figure it out. Thank goodness one of us is still smart.)

So here was our dilemma: Our new house is going to be done in three months. It's going to have one of those fancy shmancy range-hood microwaves installed above the stove thingies. It's costing me a very pretty penny to have that put in. But that's three months away! Brian and I debated and finally decided that no, we simply could NOT live for three months without a microwave. So off to Walmart I went and bought myself a new microwave for $39. I don't think I've ever loved an appliance quite so much--not because there's ANYTHING nice about this microwave, but because it is saving me from a strange and frightening microwave-less existence.

2. Then I broke a jar of salsa. Now, understand, I'm frantically preparing for this move and cleaning and scrubbing and organizing my house. It is even more work than I thought it was going to be, which is unfathomable. So, naturally, as I'm working on sorting through things in the basement I dropped a jar of salsa on the concrete floor and SPLAT. The whole basement that I'd been working so hard to clean was covered in salsa. I contemplated sitting down on the cold salsa-coated cement and just bawling, but instead I was a big girl and I just cleaned it all up. And I hope the new owners like the smell of old mexican food...

3. So, then I broke Bronwen. Bronwen is a good friend in my ward. She and I were sitting together in Relief Society yesterday listening to a lesson on repentance--a very good lesson, I might add. Anyway, someone made one of those dumb comments: "I know I can't really speak, because I'm like the biggest sinner in here..." which, of course, manipulates the response, "Oh, no you're not! We're all sinners! You're great!" or whatever. Grrrrr. I hate that kind of comment, can you tell? Anyway, my response was very quiet--only Bronwen heard me. I said, "oh, you're not that bad. Bronwen here is a much bigger sinner." Bronwen was supposed to laugh. I said it because I know Bronwen well enough to know that she WOULD laugh, and probably smack my arm or something. But no. Instead, Bronwen... burst... into... tears.

Um, oops?

"Badly done, Emma."

Sigh.

4. And last, but not least, I broke the computer. Our home office has sort of become a graveyard for computers. We have four desktops and two laptops in there. Only one desktop was currently working (the others are all Brian's "projects"--insert spooky music here...) Well, again, I'm not sure what happened. And, actually, I like to think that it wasn't really MY fault, but perhaps more the fault of the several power-outages this morning. But I'm not dismissing myself from the list of possible suspects. After all, it's quite clear that I have a destructive touch. And this much is for sure: The computer doesn't work. I'm on Brian's laptop right now. Why he would allow me to touch ANYTHING, let alone his beloved laptop, is unclear--maybe he's NOT all that smart, after all! Anyway, my point is that I won't be online a whole lot for the next few days. So I challenge you to leave comments on my blog here so that I can be terribly entertained when I do actually sign on again. Whoever leaves the best comment gets, um, a free candy bar from Target. :-)

And with that I *sniff* wish you all a fond farewell until *sniff* we meet again.

Doctor, Doctor

Ah, there's just nothing like a trip to the doctor with the whole clan of kiddos.

Our grand adventure started as we were getting out of the van and suddenly Blake started screaming as though he had just lost an arm or something. I came running to his side of the car to see what had happened. I was seriously expecting to see blood and carnage everywhere.

It was not a limb that he lost--it was a matchbox car. (Seriously, I think losing a limb would have caused less pain and heartache.) Blake had managed to accidently drop his car right into the drainage hole for the gutters. He wanted me to get it for him, but when I explained that I couldn't and it was gone forever, he lost his very last fragment of sanity.

He screamed.

He wailed.

He turned purple with despair.

So we went inside the doctor's office, where Blake's misery never subsided. The receptionists and nurses just assumed that Blake was the sick one, as opposed to Nathan, who was sweet and placid and angelic. (If they'd known us at all, they would know that "sweet," "placid," and "angelic" are sure signs that Nathan isn't feeling well...)

So, once we go back to the exam room to wait for the doctor, Blake was still screaming. Then Isaac decided to scream too--he was sick of his carseat, but I couldn't exactly hold him in that exact moment. Seconds later, Madeleine somehow managed to slam the door... on... her... lips. No, I have NO IDEA how she managed that. But now Madeleine was screaming too. The doctor comes in and she tells me that I need to hold Nathan for her to examine him. Nathan doesn't want to be held. Now Nathan was screaming.

The good news is that Nathan doesn't have ear infections or strep. His fever was 101 and he has a touch of RSV and a nasty sore throat, but nothing serious--just enough to make him miserable. Poor little guy.

Finally, we left the doctor's office. I think they were as relieved as I was that we were getting out of there. As I was leaving, the doctor said to me, "you know, you're doing a GREAT job." I thought it was the weirdest thing to say until I realize that she was probably afraid that I was on my way to drive the van right off a cliff. Hahahahaha.

Once home,their sweet Daddy helped Blake forget about his precious car by playing trains with him. What a sweet Dad. He knows how to make everything all better--for all of us.




And then, once everyone else had gone to bed, Nathan threw himself into his Daddy's arms and would have gladly stayed there all night. Cute.

17,500 Pennies Saved...

Well, I paid $45. I saved $175. And now I'm off to take Nathan to the doctor. You must understand that when I take Nathan to the doctor, I'm taking the other three kids too. It is a complete and total circus. And, at this time of year, we are there so often that the little Medical Assistant girls at the front desk know to be terrified as we walk through the doors.

"The Eliasons are coming! The Eliasons are coming!"

"One if by land, two if by sea."

Uh... yeah.

And I'm running on 45 minutes of sleep over the last 24 hours. This is going to be quite the adventure.

But I saved $175 this morning! Nothing can bring me down from that kind of high!

Romantic Gestures

Many people have Feb. 14 circled and highlighted on their calendars for Valentine's Day.

Not me.

Feb. 14 is a very important day for me this year, because the Albertsons General Mills sale begins! I've had it up on the calendar forever.

I have my coupons all clipped, my ad has been scoured and devoured, and in half an hour (5:30 a.m.) I will leave my warm, comfy home behind and I will fight and wrestle with my fellow couponers.

You probably didn't know that people lined up outside of Albertsons before they open on big sale days. We're like this secret cult of cheap-wads. We show no mercy.

So, you ask, what on earth am I doing sitting here typing at 5:00 in the morning when I should be resting up for my coupon-marathon? Ahhhhh, Nathan. That's all I should have to say. Nathan. Nathan has been awake all night long with fever, chills, probably an ear ache (since the whole family seems to be taking turns on that one) and an unparrallelled determination to have Mommy with him at all times.

I think my children are conspiring against me. They're taking turns getting sick. They want to see how long I can last without any rest. Don't they know that I'm a lot nicer when I've had at least four hours of sleep?

So, Happy Valentine's Day.

And what is my darling Valentine giving me today? Well, he's staying home with the four monkeys so that I can shop in peace. Poor man. He's got to be exhausted too--he's been up most of the night too. But he's a trooper. He'll hold down the fort while I shop and then he'll leave for work once I get home. It's the nicest thing he could do for me. He knows me so well.

And what am I getting him? His gift is that I'm not buying any cereal. I know, I know. It's hard to pass up a giant box of Lucky Charms for $.75, but I'm going to be good and skip the cereal this time. (We already have over sixty boxes of cereal in our food storage...) He'll be so proud of my restraint. Hahahaha.

We are SO romantic.

May, May, Go Away

So, we're building a house.

In December, when we first signed all the paperwork and picked our house style and colors, we were told that it would be 6-8 months. We assumed that in construction language that really meant that the EARLIEST we would be in would be 8 months away--which would have been August.

Well, we received rather official word last night that our new house would actually be done in the middle of May.

*gasp*choke*sniff*WHAT???

Okay, I'm VERY grateful to be one of the ones who doesn't have to sit around waiting and wondering for 8 months, but suddenly the very long list of things I have to do before I move is urgent and overwhelming.

Now I have to get our current house ready to sell and have it SOLD by MAY??? That's three months away! And it will certainly take us about a month to even get it ready to sell--everything needs to be gone through and sorted, rooms need to be repainted, holes need to be patched, and "artwork" needs to be scrubbed off of windows and doors and floors (it is AMAZING how much trouble can be caused by a toddler armed with a crayon...).

(Keep in mind that I really don't even get time for a shower every day...)

And then that will give us two months to sell this house. We have to cross our fingers and toes and eyes that it will actually sell! And not only sell, but sell for a whole heck of a lot of money!

Our next door neighbors have their house for sale. It's prettier on the inside than ours, but smaller. They are selling it for $40,000 more than we're selling ours. Then there's a house just down the street for sale. Theirs is not only prettier but also a bit bigger. They are selling theirs for $100,000 more than we're aiming for. Brian and I have actually made a bet with each other over how much we'll get out of our old house. He, the ultimate pessimist, thinks we'll get $20,000 or so less than I think we'll get. This is one bet that I MUST win. (Momma needs some new furniture, baby. If I win the bet, I'll be able to go shopping.)

So, anyone out there wanna buy a not-yet-clean, 5 bed 3 bath, 3200 sq. ft. house for a third of a million dollars? Anyone?

Politics, politics

"Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."
--President George W. Bush
Sept. 6, 2004, Poplar Bluff, MO.



Yeah, the Republican Party has some precious gems, doesn't it? But my post today isn't about George W. or Cheney or even Schwarzeneggar. Instead, I would like to introduce you to Utah State Senator Margaret Dayton.

Our friend Margaret here was a labor and delivery nurse who worked, uh, "closely," shall we say, with Dr. Lynn Dayton, an OB/GYN. They had an affair (Dr. Dayton was married to someone else at the time) and they are now married and she is now the State Senator from the Orem area.

(And what do you bet that her political platform was "family values" or some such handy Republican catch-phrase that magically hypnotizes the Republican Sheep of Utah and causes them to automatically vote for her.)

(I digress...)

Two years ago, the Utah Legislature passed a bill that would legalize Midwifery. This bill was written jointly by the Utah Medical Association and the local midwives.

Now, allow me to clarify. When I talk about "midwives" here, let me help you to understand what kind of people I am talking about. I am not talking about women who suddenly decide that it is their divine calling to deliver babies and they go out, armed with nothing but towels and boiling water, and begin to catch babies. Rather, I'm talking about LDEM's--Liscensed Direct-Entry Midwives--who go to years of schooling and attend hundreds of births and pass strict tests and regulations before becoming liscensed. These are women with extensive education, experience, and equipment.

Anyway, after much trial and tribulation, an excellent bill was passed into law two years ago legalizing these midwives.

And this year, our friend Senator Dayton has introduced a bill to strip all of that away from them. The bill is worded very badly, but in essence it limits LDEM's from practicing at all.

As someone who has birthed at home, I know what the general public thinks of us. They think we're completely psycho. They think that we're granola-eating, tree-hugging, leg-hair-loving hippies. But, once informed (when they choose to become informed) people stop thinking of us as whackos and actually begin to admire us.

So what's interesting to me about this new bill is that Ms. Dayton is not uneducated nor uninformed. She has access to all of the data that we have access to and probably more. All of our statistics and research PROVE that a low-risk mother is every bit as safe birthing at home with an LDEM as she is in the hospital, if not more so. Senator Dayton knows this as well as, or better than, anyone.

She is choosing to prey upon the lack of education (on this subject) of her fellow legislators in order to make a new law that will eliminate her and her husband's competition, or something! It can't be that simple, though. There's some bias, some prejudice, some unexplained animosity here. But whatever it is, she has not right to pursue any of it. As my dear friend and midwife Holly said,
"No other profession has ever been allowed to write rules for another, different profession.

No other profession codifies hospital policy into statute.

The profession that most directly benefits from severely restricting the DEMs is the OBs - the ones writing the bill."

But Republican Doctors in Utah can pretty much do whatever they like, can't they? Have you smelled corruption yet? Believe me, by the time I'm done, you will.

Anyway, the bill was assigned a committee for review. If it passes the committee it goes to the Senate Floor for debate and a vote. No one expected this bill to pass committee because it's so badly written and its content is so ridiculous.

Ah, but which committee do you suppose it was assigned to? Logic would tell you that a bill about childbirth would be assigned to the Health and Human Services Committee. But no. It was actually assigned to the Agriculture Committee.

WHAT???!!!??

Yep. Agriculture. A great place for Childbirth.

A closer look will help you understand this. This committee is made up of a small handful of senators who voted against legalizing midwifery in 2005 and the committee itself is chaired by... can you guess? Senator Margaret Dayton.

(Just what strings did she pull to obtain that interesting maneuver?)

Any other committee would have thrown this piece of baloney into the garbage where it belongs. But, you'll be happy to know, the Agriculture Committee voted this morning and passed the bill. It goes to the Senate now. What a joke.

Whether homebirth interests or terrifies you, you have to see what a bunch of garbage this whole thing is. If you find yourself interested in aiding us in our plight, let me know and I'll show you how you can help.

RSV


Nothing in the world is quite like watching your baby gasp and wheeze and struggle for air. Our little tiny Isaac has come down with RSV and bronchiolitis. Since he's so young and he was born early, this can be cause for great concern. Fortunately, he doesn't need to be in the hospital--we're able to treat him at home. This thing attached to his face is a nebulizer--it turns liquid medicine into vapor for him to breathe in. The machine runs for about 15 minutes each time and we need to put it on him 4-6 times a day--that comes to one to one and a half hours every day. And the poor little guy hates it so much. He fights and screams through all the treatments. Sigh. And, to top it off, both of his little ears are infected.

Have I mentioned before that life just isn't always very easy for Isaac?

Free chocolate, anyone?

As you probably know by now, I am a coupon FANATIC. I love, love, love coupons. And, lucky for you, every once in a while I find a coupon that simply must be shared. You DEFINITELY want to click on this one:

Free Chocolate Bar

This coupon will give you a free choxie bar at Target. You can generate as many as you would like to. I took five coupons to Target last night. Choxie comes in very, well, exotic flavors. Each candy bar retails for $2 each. I got myself a milk chocolate truffle and a dark chipotle chocolate. Yeah. The chipotle chocolate was.... interesting. I got Brian a key lime chocolate truffle. He liked it a lot. I saw that there was a spot for raspberry truffles (doesn't that sound divine!?), but they were all gone. (I live in a very coupon-oriented area, so when there's a good coupon floating around, the shelves are usually pretty bare....)

You won't find this link anywhere else by doing a search. You gotta have insider couponing friends like me! Aren't you glad you're reading this?

Madeleine




Madeleine is our resident Princess. Her Majesty loves all things Princess, Barbie, or Ballerina related. She turned 5 in December and she is an excellent Mother Hen to her three little brothers. I don't know what I would do without her and her help!
Maddie is attending the same preschool as Blake, but in a different (older) class. She has really begun to grasp basic reading skills! And she's learning math, science, and art as well. It's amazing what a sponge her little brain is! She is also still very much involved in ballet--throwing her whole soul into it. Everything about Maddie is "girly"--where she gets it, I don't know. But it's so entertaining!


And now you've met the whole clan! And now I promise that not ALL of my posts will be about my children. However, since taking care of them all day is what I do, and when you have four kids in four years, you can bet that they occupy most of my time and thoughts!

Blake



This is my crazy and whacky little Blake. Blake is such a big boy now! He will be 4 in a few months. Everyone says that he looks exactly like his dad. Lucky boy!

Blake is enrolled in an awesome preschool--it's the best one I've ever seen or heard about. I can't believe how quickly he's learning and growing. Blake loves his trains--he has a grand collection of wooden trains with track and he'd love about a billion more. He spends hours every day creating new paths for his trains and then zipping them around the tracks.

Nathan



This is my little Nathan. Nathan was born with black hair but, as you can see, he is now actually lighter than any of my other kids. However, his skin is more olive and his eyes are green. Nathan is 20 months old now. He is starting to speak and sing and his real personality is coming out.

It must be emphasized that this little boy is a great big stinker! He is so funny and he keeps us in stitches--all the while causing trouble. He gets away with murder because he is so ridiculously charming. Nathan's hobbies include stealing trains from Blake, necklaces from Maddie, rattles from Isaac, and Mommy's cell phone.

Isaac



So, thought I, why not post about each of my little kiddos. We'll start with the baby. This is my little Isaac. He is such an adorable little person. We just love him to death. He is five months old--I can hardly believe it! He weighs in at a mighty 14 lbs (which, for those of you who don't know these things, is very very small).

Isaac is a trooper. Life hasn't been completely easy for him. But, as you can see here, he smiles anyway.

The blog revolution!

Look at me, joining the blog revolution. I didn't really expect to ever want to do this. Maybe it's because I'm so entertained by the blogs of others that I thought it was time for me to join the party.

Aren't we going to have fun?