The Broke Breaking Broker Breaker

Here is my fun list of things that I broke this week.

1. The first thing I broke this week was my microwave. No, I have no idea what happened. All I know is that one day I tried to heat up soup. I set the time for 2 minutes and hit start. The whirly sound came on, the light came on, the turn-table turned. But the soup was cold as ice at the end of the two minutes. So I tried again. I'm not all that bright, you see, and I figured that maybe two minutes hadn't been quite enough to bring my soup out of its frigid state. After, oh, probably four attempts, I finally came to the conclusion that the microwave didn't work. (Then I forgot to tell Brian that I'd broken the microwave--it only took him one try to figure it out. Thank goodness one of us is still smart.)

So here was our dilemma: Our new house is going to be done in three months. It's going to have one of those fancy shmancy range-hood microwaves installed above the stove thingies. It's costing me a very pretty penny to have that put in. But that's three months away! Brian and I debated and finally decided that no, we simply could NOT live for three months without a microwave. So off to Walmart I went and bought myself a new microwave for $39. I don't think I've ever loved an appliance quite so much--not because there's ANYTHING nice about this microwave, but because it is saving me from a strange and frightening microwave-less existence.

2. Then I broke a jar of salsa. Now, understand, I'm frantically preparing for this move and cleaning and scrubbing and organizing my house. It is even more work than I thought it was going to be, which is unfathomable. So, naturally, as I'm working on sorting through things in the basement I dropped a jar of salsa on the concrete floor and SPLAT. The whole basement that I'd been working so hard to clean was covered in salsa. I contemplated sitting down on the cold salsa-coated cement and just bawling, but instead I was a big girl and I just cleaned it all up. And I hope the new owners like the smell of old mexican food...

3. So, then I broke Bronwen. Bronwen is a good friend in my ward. She and I were sitting together in Relief Society yesterday listening to a lesson on repentance--a very good lesson, I might add. Anyway, someone made one of those dumb comments: "I know I can't really speak, because I'm like the biggest sinner in here..." which, of course, manipulates the response, "Oh, no you're not! We're all sinners! You're great!" or whatever. Grrrrr. I hate that kind of comment, can you tell? Anyway, my response was very quiet--only Bronwen heard me. I said, "oh, you're not that bad. Bronwen here is a much bigger sinner." Bronwen was supposed to laugh. I said it because I know Bronwen well enough to know that she WOULD laugh, and probably smack my arm or something. But no. Instead, Bronwen... burst... into... tears.

Um, oops?

"Badly done, Emma."

Sigh.

4. And last, but not least, I broke the computer. Our home office has sort of become a graveyard for computers. We have four desktops and two laptops in there. Only one desktop was currently working (the others are all Brian's "projects"--insert spooky music here...) Well, again, I'm not sure what happened. And, actually, I like to think that it wasn't really MY fault, but perhaps more the fault of the several power-outages this morning. But I'm not dismissing myself from the list of possible suspects. After all, it's quite clear that I have a destructive touch. And this much is for sure: The computer doesn't work. I'm on Brian's laptop right now. Why he would allow me to touch ANYTHING, let alone his beloved laptop, is unclear--maybe he's NOT all that smart, after all! Anyway, my point is that I won't be online a whole lot for the next few days. So I challenge you to leave comments on my blog here so that I can be terribly entertained when I do actually sign on again. Whoever leaves the best comment gets, um, a free candy bar from Target. :-)

And with that I *sniff* wish you all a fond farewell until *sniff* we meet again.